Our Blog

ADHD and PTSD

ADHD and PTSD I have been practicing as a psychotherapist, service leader, and social worker for over 27 years. I have worked with children and adults coping with both trauma wounds and ADHD. If you...

Read More

EMDR and Me

Blog completed by Nancy Southcott, Director and EMDR psychotherapist (Retreats-4u.com)

Many years ago, I started having EMDR therapy (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) for some trauma in my past.  I had been a psychotherapist for years before my own EMDR journey.  I was cynical, unsure, and scared, but opened my mind to the prospect of overcoming the narratives of my past traumas that still impacted my life at that time.  After a couple of sessions, I noticed changes to my polyvagal system (https://youtu.be/SlhFrBoEnxU ), decreased responses to triggers, improved sleep, and an overall sense of balance.  EMDR uses bilateral stimulation which activates both sides, hemispheres, of the brain to help process the memories.  As an EMDR therapist bilateral stimulation can be conducted using eye movements, tactile stimulation (tapping, buzzers), or auditory stimulation.  I often say to clients, EMDR processing is like “REM sleep during the day”.  Traumatic memories are those that keep getting played or triggered over and over without the capacity (being stuck in the amygdala) to move through the hippocampus to the parts of the brain needed for processing- left and right hemispheres.  Additionally, the best thing about EMDR is that you don’t need to go into the memory detail.  Furthermore, EMDR therapists can work exclusively with “affect” memory, processing the body sensations impacted by trauma.  It is magical and faster than other therapy modalities. 

Originally developed in the late 1980s by psychologist Francine Shapiro, PhD, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, or EMDR, has been increasingly recognized in recent years by the World Health Organization and in treatment guidelines as an effective, evidence-based treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). EMDR has also grabbed headlines in recent years with celebrities such as Prince Harry and actress Sandra Bullock touting the therapy’s effectiveness in helping them heal from trauma. (https://www.apa.org/topics/psychotherapy/emdr-therapy-ptsd)

A helpful video around the explanation of EMDR therapy is as follows: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIJZQAr9nQo

I have been practicing EMDR psychotherapy with clients of mine for several years now.  I am in awe of the impact this therapy has on client outcomes.  Descriptors such as “magic” are usual in feedback.  However, I often tell clients expect to feel low before you rise again.  There are 8 phases of EMDR, and it’s not all the “processing” that appears to catch some clients off guard.  The preparation and Resourcing phases to me are the most important.  I highly recommend that clients engage in mindfulness and/or breathwork practice before engaging with EMDR.  In reference to the mind-body connection and our polyvagal systems, I share some helpful breathwork techniques facilitated by Jasminder Bahia, chartered psychologist, EMDR practitioner and yoga instructor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PsJ15yQpVc

I had tried all the other therapies before EMDR and none worked as well.  EMDR worked for me, and although I am trained in other therapeutic modalities, EMDR is a beacon of light in my toolbox.  Living is learning, EMDR therapists, including myself continue to adapt this therapy to the individual needs of every one of our clients.    

EMDR therapy offers several advantages that make it an appealing choice for those seeking healing and transformation:

  • Efficiency: EMDR therapy often delivers results more rapidly than traditional talk therapies, making it particularly valuable for individuals seeking relief from distressing symptoms.
  • Non-Invasive: EMDR therapy does not require clients to extensively retell traumatic events, making it a suitable option for those who find it difficult to openly discuss their experiences.
  • Long-Term Effects: The transformative effects and benefits of EMDR therapy tend to be lasting. Once traumatic memories are reprocessed and integrated, individuals often experience reduced emotional distress associated with those memories.
  • Holistic Approach: EMDR therapy addresses the mind-body connection by acknowledging the somatic aspects of trauma and emotions. This comprehensive approach contributes to overall healing and well-being. (www.emdrtherapycentre.com).

The memories do not disappear; however, I tell clients that the narrative of the memories change.  Clients tell me that pictures are blurred, and the memories no longer have the distress levels they once did.  They report not having any more nightmares, improved sleep hygiene, improved connections with loved ones and friends, and decreased anxiety and depression.  In the first phases, clinicians utilize good clinical assessment skills, help clients develop a calm place, resourcing, and address any dissociation or other factors that may indicate further attention before moving into the processing phase.

All I can say is “what do you have to lose?”  Contact your trusted EMDR therapist and give it a go.   I did, and it changed my life. 

Schedule a Consultation:


Follow us

Facebook Linkedin

Child-to-Parent Abuse in the United Kingdom: History, Evidence, and Lived Reality

What we mean by CPA / CAPVA

There’s no single statutory definition in the UK yet, and even the terminology varies (CPA vs. CAPVA). We are seeing it in the news more and more. The Home Office ran a public consultation (Nov 29, 2023–Feb 7, 2024) on adopting a formal definition, reflecting the need for clarity across services and data collection. The consultation in the United Kingdom described it as follows: Although we know that children can be vulnerable to harm by adults, there is also growing research into children displaying harmful behaviours towards parents/caregivers. There is no agreed-upon definition for this type of harm or abuse, making it difficult to identify and talk about. In the absence of an agreed definition, various terms and descriptions are used.

The Tackling Domestic Abuse Plan is committed to developing a sector-agreed definition and updating the guidance for frontline professionals in line with it. For this consultation document, the Home Office is using the term child to parent abuse (CPA) until terminology has been agreed. Children who have grown up witnessing or experiencing domestic abuse may, in some cases, direct similar physical or emotional harm toward their parents. For the parents affected, this can be an isolating experience, often accompanied by feelings of shame, guilt, and the sense that society blames them. Because this type of abuse is frequently hidden, many parents feel powerless and alone, struggling to find support or understanding.

Specialist organisations tend to use:

  • CAPVA (Child & Adolescent to Parent Violence and Abuse) for persistent patterns of abusive behaviours (physical, emotional, coercive/controlling, financial, property damage) by 8–18-year-olds towards parents/carers. Respect

Many parents and carers prefer the term CPA; a 2025 PEGS poll of >2,000 parental figures found >90% favoured “child-to-parent abuse” over variants. PEGSupport

 

A short history in the UK

  • 1970s–2000s: from invisibility to a name. The phenomenon entered the literature as “battered parent syndrome” (Harbin & Madden, 1979). Through the 1990s–2000s, debates often framed problems as “parental responsibility” (e.g., parenting orders/ASBO era), which obscured abuse dynamics within families. PMCThe Guardian
  • 2010s: specialist practice grows. Third-sector programmes (e.g., Respect Young People’s Programme, RYPP) begin to systematise practice for families where young people use violence/abuse at home. Respect
  • 2021: Domestic Abuse Act. The Act centres people aged 16+, leaving a grey area for younger adolescents, even though CAPVA commonly emerges in early–mid adolescence. Local procedures flag this gap. Solihull Council
  • 2023–2025: definition & training push. Government consults on a CPA definition; the Domestic Abuse Commissioner supports a CAPVA-inclusive framing. Respect and others expand training; “hidden harm” narratives emphasise under-reporting. GOV.UKDomestic Abuse CommissionerRespect

 

How common is it?

Robust prevalence data are limited because services use different definitions, there’s no dedicated national survey, and families under-report due to fear and stigma. The ONS has been exploring new survey approaches to measure child abuse, highlighting feasibility challenges. Office for National Statistics+1

What we do see from UK service/research snapshots:

  • “Hidden harm” and under-reporting: around 40% of affected parents do not report, often fearing their child will be criminalised or due to shame. Respect
  • Local/regional indications: a Merseyside review found 65.5% of practitioners perceived CAPVA rising year-on-year; obtaining police data proved difficult—illustrating the data gap. Liverpool John Moores University
  • Service demand rising: frontline orgs (Respect, PEGS, CAPA First Response) report increasing referrals and consistently high levels of physical and emotional harm to parents/siblings. The GuardianPEGSupportCapa First Response

Takeaway: the best current UK picture is that CAPVA exists across ages and settings, is frequently hidden, and is likely under-counted due to stigma, fear of criminalisation, and inconsistent recording.

 

What’s behind CAPVA?

Reviews emphasise complexity rather than a single cause. Histories of trauma, neurodiversity, unmet SEND/mental-health needs, exposure to domestic abuse, and family stressors frequently interact. The 2024 scoping review synthesises decades of literature (from “battered parent syndrome” onward), noting definitional fragmentation and the need for consistent responses across services. PMC

Local procedures similarly highlight trauma links and note the age-coverage gap in national legislation. Solihull Council

 

Lived experience: case studies (UK)

  • “Erin & Jay” (The Guardian, 2025): After trauma and system contact, Jay’s behaviour escalated—parents reported assaults with household objects, severe fear, and inconsistent professional responses. The story reflects shame, disbelief, and gaps in coordinated support—despite specialist charities being available. The Guardian
  • PEGS parent survey (2021): Among respondents, 80% reported being hit/kicked/strangled; 70% experienced daily verbal abuse; 29% reported targeting of pets/siblings. Parents overwhelmingly described helplessness, isolation, and stigma. (Indicative of service-user experience; not a population prevalence study.) womensgrid.org.uk
  • Healthwatch/ICS snapshot (2025): A small local survey found 98% of respondents had experienced abuse/violence from their child, calling for consistent, well-publicised support for complex behavioural/emotional needs. nds.healthwatch.co.uk

At the most extreme, matricide data compiled by the Femicide Census show >170 mothers killed by their sons since 2009 (~10% of women killed by men), often alongside severe mental-health or substance-use factors—rare but critical to acknowledge in the CAPVA landscape. The Guardian

 

Response and support landscape (England & Wales focus)

  • Specialist programmes & charities:
    • Respect – RYPP (8–18): whole-family intervention building accountability, safety and de-escalation skills. Respect
    • PEGS: national parent/carer support, professional training, policy engagement. PEGSupport
    • CAPA First Response: free specialist support for parents/carers, including of neurodiverse young people up to 25. Capa First Response
  • Local authority & safeguarding procedures: Many areas now publish CAPVA guidance and signposting (example: Solihull procedures). Solihull Council
  • Policy instruments: The new Domestic Abuse Protection Notices/Orders (DAPN/DAPO) framework rolled out 2024–2025 focuses broadly on DA; CAPVA interfaces are evolving as practice catches up. GOV.UK
  • Children & young people’s DA services: SafeLives’ Insights datasets (2022–23) provide national service data (profiles, histories of abuse, outcomes) for children/young people in DA services—a crucial, if indirect, lens on CAPVA contexts. SafeLives

 

Why the data gap matters (and what’s changing)

 

Practical signposting (UK)

 

Selected bibliography & sources (UK-relevant)

  • Policy/official
    • Home Office. Defining child to parent abuse (consultation, 2023–24). GOV.UK
    • Domestic Abuse Commissioner. Response to CPA/CAPVA terminology consultation (Feb 2024). Domestic Abuse Commissioner
    • UK Government. Domestic Abuse Protection Orders/Notices: statutory guidance (Nov 2024; updates Apr 2025). GOV.UK
    • ONS. Exploring feasibility of a survey measuring child abuse in the UK (June 2024). Office for National Statistics
  • Research & reviews
    • Rogers, M.M. et al. Child-to-Parent Violence and Abuse: A Scoping Review (2024). PMC
    • Baker & Bonnick. CAPVA – Rapid Literature Review (Exec Summary), for the Domestic Abuse Commissioner (2021). Domestic Abuse Commissioner
    • Merseyside Violence Reduction Partnership & LJMU. CAPVA review & surveys (2023). Liverpool John Moores University
  • Services & charities
  • Media casework
    • The Guardian (Mar 6, 2025): lived-experience feature on CAPVA; growth in referrals to specialist support. The Guardian
    • The Guardian (Mar 5, 2025): Femicide Census—170+ matricides since 2009. The Guardian  
    • #parentalabuse #CAPVA #CAPA #mentalhealth